Recently Logan got back from a trip into the village where he started building our future home! I am really excited about all the Lord has in store for us over these next few years.....well the rest of our lives I guess!
As I was thinking about our future home something that I have struggled with for a long time came very apparent to me. It was really an issue for me in the states more than it is here. I have a problem with "house/home envy." Obviously that isn't a real thing but I have it!
When we were back in the US this past year talking to people about their new houses and their new apartments and their new furniture and their new paint job in the kitchen, sometimes I wanted to cry!
I would dream about having plush carpet in our future living room, painting the kitchen aqua blue, a big comfy couch the whole family could pile on in front of our flat screen TV, a big claw foot bathtub, and lots of soft fluffy pillows on our bed. Then my dreams would come crashing down and I would begin to have nightmares about what my house could possibly be like. Hard wood floors that are uneven, dark dingy wooden walls in the kitchen, no couch-no TV, no bathtub, and pillows but probably not soft and probably not many!
However in all actuality neither the dream nor the nightmare are anywhere near what our home will be like.
No I won't have my plush carpet, but I will have hard wood floors that my amazing husband carefully laid by hand.
My kitchen probably won't be aqua blue (although I could do that if I REALLY wanted to but I will probably let that be a dream!) but it will have windows that look out onto a beautiful airstrip where I will be reminded each day of God's amazing creation.
I probably won't have a big comfy couch like the one in my dream (or like the one at my parents house!) but I will have a couch and my boys can climb up on my lap and we can chat about what they learned in school and what adventures they went on in the jungle and even watch a movie on our computer (or maybe a TV, who knows).
We won't have a claw foot bathtub or a bathtub at all (we could but are choosing not to because Logan wants to build a stone shower!) but I am lucky to have a bathroom at all! :-)
Of course we will have pillows on our bed! How silly am I to even think we would have to go without pillows! No they may not be exactly what I would choose if we lived in America but they will be pillows and they will be soft. I probably just won't have as many as in my dreams!
So my actual house won't really resemble my dream house in many ways at all, but in SO MANY ways it will be much better! I am so blessed to have the opportunity to live on the other side of the world and tell people about my great God and Savior Jesus Christ. Honestly who cares what my house looks like. It is all worth just to able to tell one person about Him who has never heard before!
Please pray for Logan as he continues to build our home. Please pray for me to daily be content with the house that I will have.
5 comments:
The people will come and sit on your floor and think it's great because you love them. And when that first person, or people come to study the Word and sit on whatever couch you have, you'll be reminded of why you gave up that aqua kitchen and claw foot tub.
We love you guys, and can't wait to hear about what God is going to do.
I have always had the house envy thing too Kendra:) I always thought we needed a bigger home. It never seemed quite big enough for our four growing boys. Most of my furniture has been given to me or purchased at a garage sale. We sleep in the same bed Uncle Jack had when I married him 33 years ago. I have never had a walk in closet... matter a fact my closet is downsatirs in the laundry room because the closet is so small in our room only one persons things can go in there:) I've never had a dish washer or a garbage disposal...and I love my old wood floor...it gives my home character:) One thing this house has never lacked,is lots of love! God has richly blessed me in so many more ways. My kids were able to attend a christian school because we chose to stay in our small home. I have been able to help support both my sisters ministrys and yours because we chose to stay. I have been a part in missionaries lives all over the world, I wouldnt ever trade that for a bigger house! I know your home will never lack love either, it will be filled and running over with Gods love for the Dem people! If I ever get the chance to come there (which I am planning on doing) I may just bring you really soft pillows and aqua blue paint!!! I love you very very much.Aunt Karen
Kendra,
For many reasons, I read each word with tears in my eyes, and flowing down my cheeks.
First, because of all that I realize you are "giving up" to reach one soul (and likely, countless more) for Heaven and for our Savior who died to save them just like He did you and I.
Second, because I find myself often with "home envy" :) as you so appropriately term it - and isn't that just ironic with ALL that God has blessed me with - we always find ourselves wanting more. What a conviction for me to remember, God ALWAYS supplies our needs and gives more than we deserve, and more often than not, supplies so much more than we could ever desire. And here I was just complaining about the "ugly blue" color that my table turned out to be. I'm ashamed to say I often forget just how "BLESSED" I truly am.
Third, because I know beyond a shadow of doubt that you could be anywhere in the world, and have "more" but that you truly wouldn't be happier or have more peace than you do right where God has placed you! You are a shining example to all of us - not just the Dem people. You have truly given your life for the Kingdom. All the earthly treasures and homes, will never compare to the JOY He places in our hearts and lives when we do His will. Thank you for reminding me of so much and for being an example to me. I am so proud of you, and I look up to you so very much!
Finally, I cry because I wish I was there to just hug you. To just sit on whatever couch you have, in whatever "home" you make your own, and just laugh, and smile and remind you that we LOVE you, we are praying for you and that you are never farther than our prayers and our thoughts. I agree with your friend who said when the people who come to study with you sit in your house with all its "luxuries" that make it "HOME", and they thank you for sharing Jesus with them, you will look around and see so much more than the decorations that make it up - you will see the faces of those people whose lives have been touched because you allowed HIM to use you!
I LOVE YOU and pray God will supply all your needs and give you peace and strength, and grace and love and blessings abounding in HIM.
LOVE, Aunt Jenny
You guys are an inspiration to us because of your sacrifices. It's so hard for me too to give all that up but the Lord has affirmed over and over again that this is what He wants us to do. You are right where He wants you and I pray that eventually He gives you those heart desires (in His own way :) Love you guys!
You are so blessed to be able to appreciate what you have and you bless us all.
Post a Comment